Well, not a new job. Just a change in my hours…
I’m going to officially become a stay-at-home mom (SAHM)!
Okay, to explain…
I’m a pharmacist. I graduated May of 2009 and immediately began working for a large retailer. In October, I opened a new pharmacy for them and was the manager up until I gave birth to beautiful Mary this past July. I took the full sixteen weeks of maternity leave allowed by FMLA, and returned to the company about a month ago.
When I announced my pregnancy to my bosses, I told them I didn’t want to be a manager when I returned to work, and I also mentioned to a few of my peers that I’d probably prefer part-time. There was a part-time opening at another store in the area, and that manager contacted me during my leave about working there. Mark and I agreed that I’d take the job and see how it goes.
I never thought I’d work when I had little ones, but I guess because the job was just sitting there waiting for me (and job = money), and because with Mark’s work schedule and our super duper families, someone would be available to watch Mary, I started back to work.
My manager was super nice and flexible with me regarding my schedule. As part-time, I’m required to work 44 hours per pay period (2 weeks). My schedule is Thursdays and Fridays from 3-7pm, Saturdays 9am-5pm, and Sundays 11am-5pm. Since Mark works graveyards and sleeps during the morning/early afternoon, he is able to watch Mary on Thursdays and Fridays. Saturdays and Sundays are covered by one of our moms, or my sister, or his brother, until Mark wakes up and takes over.
Sounds great, right? Well, even though I know Mary is in very capable and loving hands while I’m working, I still have been battling a severe case of Mommy guilt. Mary does not drink well or happily from a bottle or sippy cup. And she’s not gaining weight as fast as her doctors would like. Add that to the fact that she’s sometimes fussy when I’m not around to nurse, and then I worry about her fussing and burning more calories and not gaining weight!
Not only is the feeding issue an issue, but me working just causes more stress for Mark and myself. If he gets home late on a Friday morning or doesn’t sleep well, he still has to get up when I leave at 2:30. If I work a longer/different shift (thanks, Black Friday), Mark gets extra baby duty. If the baby is fussing while someone else is watching her, Mark wakes up and feels like he has to help her calm down. And work definitely makes me feel more tired. On the days I work, I feel like I come home and nurse the baby nonstop. She’s not sleeping through the night really (and I don’t even really want/expect her to), so sometimes getting up early on Saturday for work is a struggle for me. On my days off I feel unmotivated and don’t want to go grocery shopping, or catch up on laundry, or any of that stuff.
Okay, so that’s the how and the why. Effective January 2nd, I will no longer be a part-time pharmacist. I am going to see if I can stay with the company as a relief pharmacist, though. There’s no guarantee of any hours, but that’s fine with me. If I can pick up a shift or two a month, I’ll be happy. And if not…meh. I do have a feeling that they’ll want me a bit early on (they’re really short on staff in the area), and if I can help, I will.